We all know them.
They are everywhere.
They're in the supermarket, bagging your groceries.
They're at your birthday parties, screaming for you to give them a hug and my goodness, how big you've gotten!
They're that kid sitting two chairs down from you in class.
They are everywhere.
They cannot be recognized simply walking down the street. You hardly know what they are until you're so far entangled in a conversation that you can't extract yourself. Sometimes, it gets to the point that you see them across a crowded room and hightail it for the exit--or at least under a nearby table. They are terrors to all--or at least, most--who know them.
You know what I'm talking about. We all know at least one.
Yes, my dear friends. I'm talking about the
TOXIC EMOTION VAMPIRE.
(cue eerie violin music in the background)
Everyone knows
someone who requires a lot of energy to talk to. The kind of person that simply
drains energy out of you; even if you like this person to begin with, you still try to avoid spending long periods of time with them. These are just plain old
emotion vampires. Getting "bitten" by one is generally exhausting, but not harmful. However, it is worth noting that there are very few non-toxic EV (hereafter NTEV).
Most EVs are toxic, hence TEV. They not only drain the energy out of you, they also make you feel very sick and exhausted afterward. This builds resentment as well. Instead of being just flat-out exhausted, you are annoyed, irritated AND exhausted. Getting "bitten" by a TEV is poisonous.
TEVs would be toxic even if they weren't EVs. Sometimes, it's very difficult to recognize a TEV--sometimes you don't even realize it until after the fact--after the "vampire" has "fed". (Lucy Westenra certainly never had that problem)
One important thing to remember when dealing with someone that you suspect to be a TEV is that TEVs, as a general rule, are
very accustomed to getting their way, and will do whatever they can to get it. They are, more often than not, very sly, seemingly courteous, occasionally charismatic and always manipulative.
TEVs tend to be real Alpha-kind of personalities; very dominant, and often give the impression of being a real authority figure even if they have no authority in the matter at all. Although at first they will seem to be good, solid, often passionate people, they will (9/10) not take other people and other peoples' contributions seriously, and often try (and sometimes succeed) in making other people, whether in opinion or work, conform to the TEV's ideal.
TEVs tend to seek out work involving lots and lots of people and emotions. Or just a few people, and extra emotions. They seem to absolutely
relish the baring of souls, the exposed, deep, inner emotions. They are the ones who, instead of sitting with you silently while you sob because they know the only thing they can do to help is to
be there, will offer all sorts of solutions that aren't remotely applicable and ask you lots of questions about why you feel this way and
deliberately provoke additional emotional responses. In the world of TEVs, there is soul-baring without the heart, emotional breakdowns without a soul. There are emotions and deep, secret stories--but they don't belong to actual human beings. There are emotions for the sake of being...emotions.
TEVs will, more often than not, try to get something deeply personal out of you. Don't let them. They are used to getting deeply personal information out of people with whom they have no real relationship, and, as a result, these feelings which belong to
real people are almost cheapened.
The only problem with all of this? Usually, you can't see any of it until after it has already happened. I know several TEVs myself, and, thank God, I was never attacked by their emotionally-hungry fangs (well, actually, I was attacked...but I prevailed). But I have had to watch many, many well-meaning people fall prey to TEVs, and it irritates me to no end.
The moral of the story--learn to recognize TEVs, and try to avoid them when you can. Having a toxic friend of
any kind is bad, but having a toxic emotion vampire for a friend is even worse. Having toxic friends, especially TEV friends, is
always unhealthy. Think about it--have you ever had a
really toxic friend who was just the loveliest person ever and made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I know I haven't, and I've run into my fair share of TEVs.
Friends are supposed to support you, comfort you, and just
be there when you're hurt. Chances are, with a toxic friend, they'll never find out that you are capable of being hurt at all--because you are like a body with emotions, but not a soul that
is capable of being truly, deeply hurt. Betrayal by someone who is supposed to be one of your friends does hurt--but chances are, the TEV will not care.
Stock up on your wooden stakes. Free yourself from the grasp of a toxic emotion vampire. You'll never be sorry.
