Technological Illiteracy: The Story of Celestine

Disclaimer: I am not actually technologically illiterate. I can typically negotiate a computer just fine; cell phones pose no problem, and from time to time I even get on that dreadful networking site that I refuse to name. So, you see, I can get along well enough. I just dislike most of it.

A few months ago, I was with a friend at a library. We were typing up a document, and she mentioned that we probably shouldn't leave it on the computer there, so she pulled out her portable USB thingy.
My brain imploded.
"Uh--I'm not sure--what do I do?"
"Here, I'll show you."
So, my dear friend patiently guided me through the use of the portable USB thingy. Thank you, dear friend.

A post from a while back by a good friend and family member of mine got me thinking about this. I tell people that I'm technologically illiterate, even though I'm really not. I'm not trying to willfully deceive, but no--I really can't fix your computer. Inherent knowledge of all things mechanical does not automatically pass down through generations, you know? If anything, I break computers and other electronic devices.

And it's not that I really dislike all technology. My email and I are best friends, figuratively speaking; and my mp3 player saves me from boredom on long car trips. So why is it that I have a knee-jerk reaction when it comes to other forms of technology? Am I closet Mennonite, or...what?

I think a part of it may be that I have that instinctive urge to write to the point of absurdity. See? I just said--well, that, when I could have said, "Part of it is because I write so much." See what I mean? Anyway, just due to the fact that I apparently graduated from the Ernest Hemingway School of Using Twenty Words Where Two Will Do (but didn't graduate from the corresponding school of literary quality), it automatically makes it hard for me to comprehend the idea of--for example--Twitter. 140 characters? What kind of a limit is THAT? What the heck could I say in 140 characters? My poor brain was not set up to handle a limit of 140 characters. This is why my professors always say, "You need to make it more succinct!"

So, my dear friends, I implore you--let's not forget the past. Don't leave behind precedent. Email has been our steadfast companion for years. Let's have a return to the ancient art of email writing. Thank you.