I've been reflecting on acquaintanceship, true friendship, and the like. I'm not a good writer, so I hope the reader will excuse my inadequacies in this regard. And since I'm not able to express myself in a philosophical manner, perhaps I'll start with an example.
A LONG time ago, I had a "friend" who leaned on me for emotional support; she phoned me at home and at work with her troubles, and we frequently lunched together. Her life was a disaster; between her husband (and ex-husband) troubles and irritable bowel syndrome, she never lacked burdensome incidents to tell me about. (Side note: NO ONE wants to hear about your irritable bowel syndrome.) But guess what? My life at the time was a shambles, too. When I attempted to bring up something bothering me, I was CUT OFF so that she could complain about something else. Eventually, I realized, with the help of my future husband, that this person was NOT a friend, and was just using me as a "life crutch". I just stopped returning her calls, and she eventually left me alone. Yay.
But hey, that was twenty-two years or so ago, and things have changed. OH WAIT! I'm not so sure. I've struggled with my friends misleading me, or outright lying to me. (I know they were lying because they admitted it to me later.) Or in other cases, I think I have a friend, but when I bring up anything remotely personal (and I mean REALLY remotely, like my personal feelings on a subject), the person ignores outright what I've said, and changes the subject. I don't know what to make of it. Perhaps these relationships are just for convenience, and will blow away like dandelion seeds when the "friends" are separated.
If you see yourself in the preceding paragraph, please know that dishonesty does not flatter you. The truth will come out eventually, you'll feel stupid and embarrassed, and....the 8th Commandment states "Thou shalt not bear false witness." And what else....hmmm......using others because it's convenient for you is not nice. So don't do it.
Enough ruminating for now. Perhaps I'll add more later.
And there's not a particular incident that led to this post. It's just a number of things that have happened in the last year, and it's had a cumulative effect on me.
4 comments:
Mary, I've had a friend or two like the one you described. And I can think of one right now to whom I still associate.
My humble advice: do not think about it too much and let it eat away at you. If you do (and I am not assuming that you are), then it indirectly controls you. Just consider it as a little cross that Our Lord has given you. Move forward...
On the contrary - you are a good writer. You communicate very well. And you don't have to sound philosophical to be philosophical.
You will be included in my next Rosary.
-TH2
Hi HH,
Thanks so much for your comment, and your compliment on my writing, with which I greatly struggle. I've decided to further clarify this post with yet another post.
BTW, I LOVE your blog. Found it via Catholic Caveman. Your writing is spectacular, and I was laughing out loud!
Thanks, Mary, for the kind comments. I liked your clarifying post as well (above). I hope I didn't put you on the spot. Keep blogging...
God bless you, HH. And thanks for the Rosary!
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